time to shape up

♥ 142.2 ♥

ok i have failed myself again..i told myself i would be in shape by june..june is almost here and instead of losing weight--i gained 2 more pounds omfg. its so hard to lose weight--i havent been smoking for like almost a week--well almost i sort of cheated half way into the week--i gave in and smoked one. eh. didnt say i am going to quit, ive been cutting back. and trust me it may seem like a baby step to most, its a big step for me. considering i would freak out--when i ran out of cigarettes. I just want to live my life right, i want a healthy life. i am completely miserable being frumpy. i miss my old self. the confident me. hopefully i can lose weight within about 3 weeks. I plan to hit the gym for about 2 hours a day--starting tuesday--i was going to start monday--but its memorial day, the gym might be closed we will see..I have 18 lbs to lose....